i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
My life is pants optional.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
