glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
