I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Randomize
