I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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