what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
