When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
