I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
