we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
