i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Well I just put wine in my tea
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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