I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We don't watch enough power rangers
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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