i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize