I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
