you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
