i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
this will be a night to untag.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
