He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I understand Curling. That high.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
