is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
