smell my finger.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
bring money and cleavage
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
