pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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