By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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