so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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