Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
