Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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