just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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