Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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