I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
