Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
