of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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