do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
