yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
