I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
