you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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