She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
It's just like the Real World with babies
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
