I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
