You just made me feel so damn special
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
She announced her abortion via fbk
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I think I just sharted jello shots
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
