I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
