Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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