That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize