We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
