Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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