I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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