you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
