i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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