Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
