Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
