I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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