Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
