If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My vagina is very pro this idea
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
