At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
