In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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