I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She bit a glass in half.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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