He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
