If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We were destined to go to rehab together
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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