pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize