pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Randomize
