ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Pooping to opera.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
