What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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