now i know why i became what i already was.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
