she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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