she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize