were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize