I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Life is so much better after having sex.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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