Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
