So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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