white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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