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the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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