I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
