Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
